I Used To Love My Body

by Jonathan Mann

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credits

released January 8, 2019

Jonathan Mann played everything. Angela Sharp sang on Track 1.
Mixed by Nick Krill at Paperlab Recordings. Mastered by Jeff Lipton and Maria Rice at Peerless Mastering, Boston, MA.

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Jonathan Mann Brooklyn, New York

I'm a songwriter best known for writing a song a day. I've been at it for 10 years.

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Track Name: I Used To Love My Body
I used to love my body
Head to toe
You’d find me at a party
Take off my clothes

I feel ashamed
My body’s changed
Now my clothes stay on
That part of me’s gone

But I do believe you’re beautiful
As you are, inside and out
But I can’t quite find the lever to pull
To extend that to myself

I wanna be body positive
Head to toe
But come on it’s obvious
I kinda hate myself

I see a body I want
I don’t like that at all
Wanna forgive me
For my anxiety

And I do believe you’re beautiful
As you are, Inside and out
But I can’t quite find the lever to pull
To extend that to myself

I see friends on Instagram
Showing off
And I’m left wondering who I am
Like I’m not enough

You all look so good
And maybe I should
But my clothes stay on
That part of me’s gone
Track Name: The Smog Gets Thicker
looking in the mirror
de ja vu
standing on a step stool
with a mustache too
long pants hot dance
turn around wide stance
funny how the sun sets
are pretty when the smog gets
thicker than a bowl of stew
we're bathing in co2
I'm calling after you
But you can't hear me

I am a militant
non militant against
fundamentalism
pro people i believe in us
Love
And the shaking leaves
I remember you
You remember me
We've been here before
A moment in time
To ignore it would be a crime
Mark Summers was covered in slime
and he was obsessive

Compulsive in the mirror
8 0 2
Hairy chest grows now
And I'm the 3rd one through
Off the track going back
LIft off smoke stack
Funny how the summer gets
Nicer when the sun sets
chased by korgano the moon
join my rebel platoon
we'll take over this rock soon
we'll be scholars
and tricksters and kings and queens
led by science and love and the means
of production will not matter, machines
will do our bidding
Track Name: Before It All Comes Crashing Down
Drag me out into the summer heat
I want to feel the grass beneath my feet
I’m calling
on the angels
To cradle these storms
With their kisses and their songs

Drag the boy outta bed at midnight
Four times around the sun, never seen the starlight
I’m calling
On the angels
To keep the stars shining
For his little blue eyes

Before it all comes crashing down

Drag the girl out among the trees
She’s fascinated by every animal she sees
I’m calling
on the angels
To protect the forest song
With their tears and their bones

Drag me off my phone and drag me out
Give me the strength I need to forgive myself
I’m calling
on the angels
To protect this house
With their lungs full of stomps and shouts
Track Name: Is Sorry Enough?
Living out in the desert
He’s anxious and intense 
He’s hummin’ Jonathan Richman
Looking for a girlfren 
He sees her looking at him
Outside the punk rock club
A friend makes the connection
And he’s sure that he’s in love

When all is said and done
Is sorry ever enough
Is it more than regret
Is it less than a sin

He remembers the moonlight
Did she take take his hand
He remembers lying next to her
Did he misunderstand 
He put his arm around her
Fumbling in the bed
Was he just being clumsy
Or was it something else instead

In the wild Santa Ana’s  
Now they’re making out
And then she says to him
“Can you please drive me back to 
my house”
He felt inadequate
In the backyard he was crying
But now he’s looking back on it
Wondering if he crossed a line
Track Name: Everything Is Limited
Limited space
Limited days
Limited time
In a limited mind
Limited love
There will never be enough
Limited esteem
From my heart to my dreams

I’m stuck in this limited view
I can’t see the future so I don’t know what to do
Options are endless but my choices are few
It’s hard to know what’s true

Limited words
For me to write
Limited luck
Riding with me tonight
Limited will
To do what I should
Limited compassion
To do good

I am boxed in by my limited view
I can’t see the future so I don’t know what to do
Options are endless but my choices are few
At least it’s the same for you

Limited life
Taking limited chances
Asking limitedly
To get limited answers
Limited blood
In a limited vein
Limited neurons
In your brain
Track Name: Today's Task
Times square was built on a swamp
That river’s gonna do what it wants
Hurricanes and the ocean gets higher
The rain falls and there’s a wall of fire

You know what it all comes down to
10 people that you have around you
Will they be there a year from now?
5 years, 10 years, 50 years out

Tragedy requires hope
But I check out and I’m just like nope
Lost in the dust bowl or bomb cyclone
Looking for the dopamine hit from my iPhone

Go bags and a midnight hustle
My bones shake into my too tense muscle
We do our best to ignore it
The fact that they won’t let us live if we can’t pay for it
Track Name: Nobody Knows What The F They're Doing
All my friends don’t know what they’re doing
Even the ones who have been successful

If you’ve got a hero, look again
You have diminished yourself in some way

I always thought I would know what I was doing by now
But I’m just as confused as I ever was
I don’t think that this feeling ever goes away
And I’m not sure it would be a good thing if it does

All my friends are feeling the same way
All my time is spent in a weird cage

I can only do all I can
I don’t have time I can’t do more
Track Name: Pop Corn
throw a cob of corn into the sun, it'll be popcorn
look at that old pile of hay, it's a dead body
make your hand into a fist, a gun, or a laser
can you roll your R's with your tongue 'cause i can

He-Man, Skeletor
You got toys and i got more
I got a crush on Dawn
I lay face down on the lawn

little boy awake and terrified, why's he crying?
he thinks about his mom and his dad, them dying
that dream of being chased by someone he can't see
that feeling of wanting to know who he'll be

so big so tall
we're all so small
one mask we call a face
won't be remember'd won't be replaced

alone at home on a rainy sunday night, he’s writing
thinking, “someday i'll live another life, exciting
i'll fall in love with a girl that i've just met
i'll wander darkened streets alone in jerusalem.”

The hotel he doesn’t like
He doesn’t win the open mic
The summer ends and he’s in love
Though somehow it’s still not enough

Summer night silent and my wife is sleeping
I’m watching my son’s chest rise and falling
I’m wondering what he could be dreaming
That feeling of wanting to know who he’ll be

Fears piled on to fears
Old feelings hot tears
Wanting to hold on but no
Trying hard to let go
Track Name: With No Bullshit
Just be quiet for once in your life
In a few minutes be loud as you like
But for now
Forget what you’re going to say
Do you feel that
In the stillness
It’s who you are
With no bullshit

In your chest the pain expands
You feel heat radiate in your hands
And your eyes
Are filling up with tears
You are not incomplete
You are stronger
Than you think you are
And you belong here

You may not
Be remembered
But you will never
Be replaced

You are more than the sum of your parts

Hear the drip drop of the melting snow
Tick tock goes the watch you feel the seconds glow
And the sun
Is banging down your door
Time is constant
It will outlast you
So just watch those feelings
Roll right past you

They do your bidding
But you have to feel them
Even when it sucks

All the bad things you ever did
Every single ancestor that ever lived
And they’re all
Forgiving you right here
They know
What you’ve forgotten
You can make mistakes
All is not lost then

You may not
Be remembered
But you will never
Be replaced 0cc
Track Name: Time Only Moves In One Direction
How could we forget the beginning of time
Seems that’d be something we’d like to remember
How could we forget before we were born
What were we doing?
Seems like that’d be something we’d want to remember

But time only moves in one direction
Nobody knows why

How could we forget the meaning of life
Seems that’d be something we’d like to remember
How could we forget what’s beyond the edge of the universe
I’d like to remember

How could we forget if we had a past life?
Seems that’d be something we’d like to remember
How could we forget what it was like to simply be carbon
I’d like to remember

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